Friday, August 22, 2008

We're in this boat together

We found out very early on that I was pregnant with twins.  We were thrilled and excited but completely clueless which made it easy to be thrilled and excited.  To say that my body hated to be pregnant was an understatement.  I started having complications at seven weeks and we thought we had lost the babies.  I had another scare at fifteen weeks and was put on bed rest.   I ended up spending the duration of my pregnancy on bed rest for one complication or another.   This is not uncommon and I found out later that many multiple pregnancies end up on bed rest.  I was out of work and home for five months waiting and hoping for healthy babies.  I was "lucky" to only deliver one month early and have two five pound babies. 

I adore both of my babies and I love to see them grow up together. They get excited when they see each other in the morning and when they wake up from naps.  They play together and babble at each other now at ten months.  Of course I get frustrated when a simple task turns out to be difficult trying to maneuver two babies safely.  I get jealous of moms of one baby and how easy it is for them to come and go, things they don't have to think about logistically, the fact that they can sleep when their baby sleeps etc.  When people tell me they always wanted twins I tell them to be careful what they wish for.  I would love to take my babies to a Gymboree or Music Together class but can't if I have to handle both.  I'd love to be able to hold both of my babies when they are crying but can't.  But these are small things.  I think about them growing up and the bond I hope that they have.  I picture them sharing secrets, playing together, helping each other out.  These are the blessings of multiples. 

This group of women comes from a website message board consisting only of mothers of multiples.  It's very unique to find a group online like this who give unending support to each other through ever stage of our children growing up.  From those extremely difficult first few months when you're trying to figure out what you're doing, calm multiple fussy babies at once, and get an hour or two of sleep in the process, to feedings, frustrations, potty training, and on and on the group is there to cheer each other on and give support when it's really needed.

Sadly, another common situation with multiples is giving birth to premature babies that end up in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.   The time mothers have their babies in the NICU is extremely emotional and stressful and this group of women are always there to share experiences and offer prayers and support for these new mothers.  I know that I personally have benefitted in so many ways from the wisdom and experience of these mothers and am grateful to have found such a group and to now call these women my friends. 

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