Saturday, August 23, 2008

Tadertots…a story of infertility, a high risk pregnancy, and life with our beautiful twin boys born at 32w 4d.

At 28, I never imagined I would be sitting in a reproductive endocrinologists’ office listening to a diagnosis of unexplained infertility. They just didn’t know what was wrong. But we’d need to try artificial insemination to get pregnant. We had one shot, and then we’d try IVF. Because we were paying out of pocket, we gave it everything we had.

At the first ultrasound at 7 weeks, I told the RE, “You promised us it wouldn’t be a litter.” She said “You’re going to jinx us…it’s not one baby, it’s twins.” I cried. I was scared, happy, amazed, nervous; a thousand feelings in one.

The pregnancy was uneventful until 28 weeks. Everything was great. I was tired, but I continued teaching. Then, in the middle of the night I woke up in a pool of blood. I couldn’t speak on our way to the hospital. I thought we had lost them.

I was put on bedrest. No explanation for what had happened. Everything looked OK. At 32w I started bleeding again…just a little this time. They admitted me to the hospital. That night, I bled everywhere, and began a fight for us all.

For four days they tried to keep me from delivering. At 32w 4d, I began bleeding profusely. When they put me on monitors, they found out baby B was almost gone. They rushed me to the OR and cut me open before I was even asleep. My placenta had abrupted. My boys came into the world fighting, and were rushed to the NICU.

For 2 days I couldn’t even see them. They spent 4 weeks in the NICU. Even to this day we deal with motor delays, with weight gain. I never knew being a mother of multiples could be so hard. I never knew it could be so beautiful either. I’ve amazed myself. Breastfeeding my boys (still going) and becoming a milk donor. Meeting women on a message board from around the US and supporting them in their journeys. Starting a blog that has taken off and connects me to the world as a whole.

This experience, this journey, has been worth every minute.

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