Monday, August 25, 2008

Success After IF and Loss

Posted on behalf of Disney102399

We were your typical couple. We were young, just married and ready to start a family. Little did we know the path to a family would not be so easy.

After trying on our own for about 3 years we decided to talk to a doctor. She ran a bunch of test which all looked fine. So she suggested doing IUI. We did 6 cycles with no success. She recommended we see a RE. We went and met with her and she suggested we move onto IVF. We were a little surprised by this but were willing to do whatever it took. We started our first cycle in September 03. But it was a BFN. Did another cycle in March of 04. Also a BFN. I needed to take some time off. It was all really starting to get to me. So we decided in July of 05 to try again. We got the best news: I was pregnant.

At my 6 week u/s they told us we were expecting twins. We were so happy and excited! My pregnancy was normal. I had all the symptoms, morning sickness and I was tired all the time. At 18 weeks we found that they were a girl and a boy. Instant family! We were thrilled! Little did we know that 5 weeks later our world would change.

On December 28th my water broke. I was 23wks3d. Way too early. They determined it was my son’s water that had broke. But he looked ok on u/s. They put me on meds to stop the contractions. But the next morning I went into labor. Brian William was born @ 8:15 am on December 29th. He was with us for 14 hours. So now we needed to focus on my daughter. I had a bad reaction to the meds they had me on so they had to take me off. Three days later I started contracting. I delivered my daughter, Lillian Ruth, on January 1 @ 12:39 am. She was actually the New Year’s baby for the state of Maine. Sadly, she passed away 40 hours later. We were devastated. We just couldn’t believe after all we had to do to get pregnant that our precious babies would be taken away from us. We needed time. Time to process what had happened. Time to grieve our loss. Time to heal.

We decided to do another cycle in August 06 and it was a BFN. I knew I had one more cycle in me. On February 23 we got the best news again: I was pregnant. Six weeks later we found out we were expecting twins again. We were thrilled but also very scared. This time around we weren’t taking any chances. We started seeing a high risk doctor. At 12 weeks I had a stitch placed on my cervix. At 16 weeks it was confirmed we were expecting 2 girls. My pregnancy went very smoothly. After years of going to others’ baby showers, leaving in tears, it was finally my turn. My shower was so great. And so special. To see how many people cared about me and my family. It was so great! I was 34wks2d when I had some spotting. I was admitted to the hospital and stayed there till I gave birth. I was put on meds to stop the contractions. The meds worked great until the morning of September 30th. I woke up that morning and was very uncomfortable. The Dr checked me and said, “Looks like you are having some babies today”! We were so excited! Charlotte Lorraine and Margaret Theresa were born @ 2:39 pm via c-section. They were healthy and beautiful! Hearing them cry was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. The first time I saw them I was in disbelief. I couldn’t believe they were mine. I couldn’t believe they were finally here. But most of all I couldn’t believe that our dreams were finally coming true. We were finally parents. They spent about 15 hours in the NICU, mostly for observations, and then went to the regular nursery. They came home with us 4 days later. And to leave the hospital where I had said good bye to my precious babies 18 months early, now with 2 healthy babies, was the best gift in the world.

I look at my girl’s everyday and thank God for them. They are my pride and joy. They make me happier than I ever imagined I could be. I miss Brian and Lillian everyday. I know they are looking down on us and are smiling. And every time I look at Charlotte and Maggie I see them.

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