Thursday, August 21, 2008

Mommy Cubed

Being on hospital bed rest carrying triplets for two and a half months was, aside from a past abusive relationship, the hardest thing I have ever been through. The abuse and pain that one’s body goes through to carry a triplet or other higher order multiple pregnancy is something I had not counted on. It was days into weeks into months of lying in the same room, looking out the same window at the same brick building while my muscles atrophied from lack of use. To lie on my back meant I would pass out; to roll from one side to the other was so painful I cried almost every time. I was weak, frail, and many times I needed my husband to help me walk the few steps between my bed and the bathroom. My pelvis felt like it would split apart, I was short of breath, and the constant movement under my ribs was almost unbearable.

Good Lord, that is a mountain of a woman!

Perhaps worse than the physical pain that one endures was the mental anguish one encounters from so much time spent “inside your head” as you spend much of your time alone. I am lucky to have had a great support system of family, friends, and an incredible nursing staff who took care of me. Still, it is impossible to be on hospital bed rest and not have a few mental breakdowns along the way.

Thankfully, mercifully, at the end of my bed rest “sentence,” we were blessed with three healthy babies: Gavin, Simon, and Scarlett. Identical boys Gavin and Simon both weighed 4 lbs, and were 16 ¾ inches long, and Scarlett weighed 4 lb 5 oz, and was 17 ¼ inches long. And to the numerous people who ask if she is also identical – NO – she is not. She is a girl, they are boys, they have different parts; hence, they cannot be identical.

Every girl needs backup dancers.

So today here I sit, listening to a kiddie CD as I type this up for the blog, while two of our peanuts sit quietly (for the moment) in their bouncy seats nearby. My husband and I estimate that we go through anywhere from 24 – 28 diapers a day. Thankfully we have not had to buy diapers very many times since May 16, because the lovely ladies who worked with my mom before she retired had a surprise diaper shower for us, and we have been stocked up with plenty since that time. I have had to go exchange a few boxes for bigger sizes, but I am NOT complaining! A quart of liquid formula (ha – a QUART???) will fill eight 4-ounce bottles, which means it would last through two feedings, with a little left over to “top someone off,” not to mention it has to be heated, and when three hungry babies are all squalling to eat at the same time, waiting to heat up formula is not what any of us want to be doing, I can assure you. A can of powdered formula, which is made with hot water from the tap, praise Jesus, lasts a couple of days tops. Can I get an Amen for hot water from the tap? I have become Costco’s number one customer solely through our purchase of powdered formula.

I have gone back to work part time, with intentions to be back full time by the end of the year – three days in the office, and two from home. To those who assume I would stay home with our three little ones, I say NAY! Not unless we win the lottery, or those presumptuous people are willing to pay our mortgage, buy diapers, formula, gas, groceries, and therapy for me. I whole-heartedly commend any woman who chooses to be a stay at home mom, because after having stayed with our trips before going back to work, I realized I was not cut out for it. I shouldn’t feel guilty saying that, but I do every time. One thing I know is that when I come home from work, and see a tiny face break into a huge smile at the sight of mommy peering down at them, it makes everything worth it. Every time I hold one of those precious peanuts and sing to them (my favorite songs are Sweet Child O Mine, Your Song, and Nature Boy) and realize how intensely they are watching me, and really LISTENING, or they burst into tears and I burst into laughter, it makes everything worth it. The lack of sleep, the lack of time to myself, the stretch marks (okay, maybe not those…) I’d go through it all again to get to the other side and come out with our peanuts. It’s like Christmas every day, only you don’t know which one to go see first, because they are all the best presents, our sweet babies.

Simon, Scarlett, & Gavin

1 comment:

Lindsi said...

I'd love to contribute as well.
This is such an amazing group of gals!
SNL0605 (Lindsi