Wednesday, August 27, 2008

childhood dreams of being a mother

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mother. My own mother has always been such an inspiration to me and her dedication to me and my two siblings has constantly amazed me.
My husband and I met in 2000 and were friends for over a year before we started dating in the fall of 2001. Once we started dating we quickly realized how much our two families had in common, even though we were from very different parts of the country. One of the things that we have always agreed on is that being one of three siblings was a great way to grow up, and that we would definitely have more than one child once it was time to start our own family.
We were married in 2006 but waited a year and a half to get "adjusted" to married life and our new jobs before we started trying to get pregnant. Luckily it didn't take long and in February after only a few months we found out that I was pregnant! I had always imagined myself having the "perfect pregnancy" where I gained weight only in my belly (not too much of course) and carried on with all of my normal activities and exercises right up until my due date. I was sure everything was going to be fantastic!
I started to get my first signs that things weren't going to go exactly to plan when my severe morning sickness kicked in at around 6 weeks. At our first doctor's visit I was a total wreck, I was losing weight and worried that the baby would have problems. As the doctor turned on the ultrasound and showed us the heartbeat I felt instantly relieved, that is until she showed us the SECOND heartbeat... two babies! My husband and I were in complete shock! The idea of having twins had never even crossed our minds, but we always knew we wanted more than one baby so we were thrilled to hear we'd be having two at once!
After doing some research into twin pregnancy I realized that my dream pregnancy was probably not going to happen. A twin pregnancy comes with all of the hardships of a single pregnancy, times two! I was put on bedrest at 26 weeks to stop me from going into preterm labor,something my doctors began to fear when I started experiencing contractions that would not go away. I have now been on bedrest for several weeks and will stay here until I deliver, hopefully in another 6 weeks.
The pregnancy has not been what I imagined at all and I can certainly say I've put on weight in many more places than just my belly, but I know that everything will be worth it in the end when I see my two beautiful babies for the first time! Having multiples is definitely something that never figured into my childhood dreams of being a mother. I know that it will be so much more work, with so much more sacrifice, and so much less time for my husband and I. It has taken me time to accept all of these facts and to work them into my dreams of what life will be like once I do become a mother, but now that I know my two babies are on the way I couldn't imagine it any other way. My only wish now is that I can do as well raising my children as my mother did raising me!

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