Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Faith reborn – twice

“A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.”

In June 2007, my husband Kris and I decided to expand our family and start trying for a baby. To our shock and surprise, we got pregnant the very first time trying! I remember taking the pregnancy test and seeing the faintest of two lines, walking into the bedroom to tell Kris, and thinking to myself how our lives would imminently change. If I only knew then what was truly in store…

Excited and anxious, my doctor allowed us to get an early peek at our little “jellybean,” as I called my growing embryo, by ordering an eight-week ultrasound. The technician had Kris wait in another room at the start of my ultrasound so she could perform routine checks and make sure everything looked “normal.” I can only imagine how nervous Kris became when he heard me crying from the other room. Unbeknownst to him, these were tears of joy as the ultrasound technician told me, “now don’t get freaked out, but there are two in there.”

Seeing Kris’s face as he stared at the ultrasound screen is an image I’ll never forget. We didn’t tell him that there were two babies at first… instead, we just pointed out where the “baby” was and looked at his bewildered gaze. Eventually, I whispered to him, “we’ve having two babies,” and all he could utter was, “wow.” It is such a priceless memory for both of us.

At five months, a severe case of food poisoning landed me in the labor and delivery ward. The dehydration from the illness caused me to have contractions, and my cervix began shortening and funneling. After four days in the hospital, the doctor sent me home on modified bed rest. Needless to say, I thought the worst and resigned to the notion of giving birth to premature babies.

To my surprise, I actually had to give my twin girls an eviction notice! The bed rest seemed to do the trick, and I underwent a planned c-section at 38 weeks, two days. On March 21, 2008, I welcomed two healthy and beautiful little girls, Mya Katherine and Camryn Rachel. The babies weighed in at 5 lb. 3 oz. and 4 lb. 11 oz., respectively.

An awful coincidence brought a tragic twist to my post-partum happiness. Nineteen days after the girls were born – two years and three days after my mother passed away from a long battle with breast cancer – my father died unexpectedly. It was known that he was in the beginning stages of liver disease, but no one expected his passing. I thank God that he was able to meet his twin granddaughters, if only once.

I dealt with such an extreme mix of emotions – the sheer joy of becoming a new mother while experiencing the loss of both of my parents in a sad twist of fate. During those first few weeks – usually after a 3:00 a.m. feeding, no less – I found great solace on the MoM’s board. Knowing that there was a place that I could ask any question, regardless of how silly or commonplace, or simply a place where I could just vent, was wonderful.

Mya and Camryn are now five months old and are truly a blessing. I tell them every day that they have two guardian angels looking up from above.

A few weeks after my father’s death, I came upon this quote from Carl Sandburg: “A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.” Now more than ever, I believe that to be true.

1 comment:

NancyNairi said...

What a wonderful quote; I hope it helped during your difficult PP time.