March 2009 Update From Pam (Pea-Kay)

Wow, it's been half a lifetime since I wrote my entry. Literally, in the boys' case. They are now nearly 16 months old and have just started to walk. Life has gotten more and more fun with these guys. They've started to talk a little too. Every animal is a "cat", every sound is a "quack", and every food is a "cracker." We've discovered where they're ticklish and what they like to eat. We know their favorite books and how they dance. It's been such a joy getting to know these three little guys.

Linus is my big boy who loves to laugh. Oliver is my sweet, sensitive soul. And Miles will be your best friend within minutes of meeting you (especially if you have some cake!)

It's really amazing. Right now, they change so much every day. Every afternoon when I pick them up from daycare, I wonder what new trick they've learned. Or what new bruise they've acquired because of their wobbly gait. They've just started giving kisses and hugs, which makes the temper tantrums a little easier to bear, too.

I'm so proud to be the mama of these sweet boys - and I'm also proud to say I am getting much better at telling them apart!

What started off as the most terrifying day of my life, turned out to be the most miraculous

Getting these babies was not as easy as it should be, and after our first failed round of invitro we had almost given up hope of ever having a baby of our own when I decided to give invitro a try once more. A couple days before my Dr Appointment to see if the invitro worked I decided to sneak and take a test at home. I was all by myself just staring at the test. It took the full 3 minutes until a tiny thin 2nd pink line appeared. It was not convincing enough so I jumped in the car drove to the store and bought 5 more tests, all different brands. One by one every test was positive. I was in total shock. I grabbed a shirt from the back of my closet that I had bought for invitro round one and almost threw away. It said BABY on it with an arrow pointing to my belly. I waited patiently for Jason to come home. If the invitro is successful, you do 2 more weeks of injections. If it is not, then you can stop the injections. When Jason got home I said "I have bad news..., I am going to have to do the injections for 2 more weeks." Then I unzipped my jacket to reveal the "Baby" shirt. He picked me up and swung me around. We were screaming!

2 days later, already knowing I was pregnant, I went to the Dr to get the official blood test taken. You want the test result Beta number to be 100. I got the call from the nurse while I was at work. She said "Jessica, are you sitting down, and are you ready for what your number is?" "I'm ready". "It is 1536!!!!" “What does that mean? Am I pregnant with 1500 babies?” She said, "you are definitely having AT LEAST two!" So now comes freak out mode. I was so worried. I always wanted twins, but I knew all the risks involved with having multiples.

At 33 weeks pregnant, and after 5 weeks of being confined to bed rest, I had a strong nesting instinct. Jason helped carry me into the nursery. I was sitting in a rocker folding their baby clothes. I stood up, lost my balance and fell. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, but didn't think anything of it. Turns out, it caused a placenta abruption 7 hours later. It was Monday Oct 1st 12:30 I was asleep when suddenly Jason heard me yell "my water just broke!" He jumped out of bed and turned on the light. I knew something was wrong when I saw his face. He said “that's not water, that's blood!” I jumped up and ran to the bathroom where I continued to hemorrhage - A LOT! Jason called 911 and within a few minutes paramedics were rushing in my room. I was hemorrhaging so bad that the paramedics were putting large IV's in my arm preparing for a blood transfusion. I was panicked and scared to death thinking I was losing my two babies. What started off as the most terrifying day of my life, turned out to be the most miraculous.

When we got to the hospital the nurse said they would try to slow down my contractions and there was “no way” I would be delivering that night and I would be bed ridden at the hospital for at least 3 or 4 more days if not weeks. We decided it would be best if Jason went home so he could pick up some things to bring back to the hospital. It was 5:45am by now. Everyone left and I decided I would try to get some rest. About 15 minutes later I started to feel contractions. They were coming hard and fast. Pretty soon they were so strong I couldn't even talk or breathe. I looked at my contractions monitor and each contraction was hitting the 100 mark (the highest mark on the graph!) It was one right after the next bam bam bam. I was still gushing blood. I pushed the nurse button and the same nurse that told me there was "No way we would be having these babies tonight" came in to check me and yelled out "Call her Dr at home and tell him to get here right now!" It was 6:45am and she told me my Dr lives 10 minutes away, and he will be here in 10 minutes- We are having these babies at 7:00 am in 15 minutes!The nurse said "where's dad?" I cried "He's at HOME!" I called Jason who was already on his way back and said "Get here right now we are having these babies in 15 minutes!!!" He slammed on the gas. Within 10 minutes the Dr was there, the Anesthesiologist was there, all the nurses, interns, neonatologists, were all there ready to wheel me into the operating room for my emergency C- Section everyone was just waiting for Jason!!6:55am Jason comes running down the hall. The nurses throw a white jumpsuit, hat, mask, and booties at him and say "put this on now." I look at jason and say "It's baby time", he looks back at me out of breath and panicked still and says "it's baby time babe".7:00 am I get the epidural I am numb a few minutes later. At 7:37am we here the Dr say "Baby!" We hear a tiny weak yelp, yelp without even showing her to us they pass baby Josselyn right thru the window into the waiting NICU. 1 minute later Dr says "Baby!" again and a little louder baby squeal, as they pass Jaxon threw to the NICU window, this time Jason glanced over just in time to see them passing Jaxon. So he got a quick glimpse. As soon as we heard their first little yelps we both let the tears roll down our faces, looked at each other and smiled.Jason asked for a baby update and they said they were still working on them. They were getting them hooked up to all the monitors still. A few minutes later they came in and said both babies are on oxygen but are doing well. They let Jason go in to see them, and wheeled me into recovery. I still hadn't seen my babies. About 45 min later Jason came in my room and showed me pictures on the digital camera and told me they were the tiniest, most beautiful perfect babies he had ever seen.

There is nothing like holding two precious tiny babies to make 5 weeks of bed rest, and a total of 240 thick viscous shots worth it. I would have done those shots while standing on my head if I knew what the outcome would bring. I am so grateful for my precious angels. They are two miracles I will never take for granted. I have loved every minute of being a mother. I will take the good with the bad. The 4 weeks they were in the NICU and the 15 hour days I spend there, the exhausting days and nights of nursing every 2 hours. The 12 diaper changes a day, Jaxon screaming with colic for hours at a time, and the hundreds of sleepless nights.
I love you with all my heart Jaxon and Josselyn. We are one happy little family and I wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world.

Jessarella

What happens when you try to work from home with two babies...

Looking around for the first page of my issues list, I find this under the jumperoo. Still don't know who the culprit is....

We tend to seek happiness

Get your own Family Sticker Maker & MySpace Layouts.

All of you

I just want to say...
That you girls have been so incredible! Everyone is sooo supportive of each other, so encouraging, so helpful, and just plain amazing! Since the twins have arrived I haven't been able to catch up with you all like I would like to...but I wanted you all to know you are in my thoughts all of the time. It would be one amazing day if we all got together someway, somehow to meet up and put a "real" person to the names.
HUGS TO YOU ALL

2-4 Babies? The story of JBSugar

I was diagnosed at an early age with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Armed with this information, I knew that my husband and I had the potential for problems and spoke to my OB/GYN within 4 months of not having my menstrual cycle after stopping birth control pills so that we could try to conceive. After running lots of tests, I was placed on Metformin to help with the PCOS and was told to watch my diet. The OB also had us try the drug Clomid. After no success with 50mg of Clomid, than 100mg and 150mg, my OB decided to send me to a specialist. My first meeting with the reproductive endocrinologist (RE) left me feeling confident for the future. He recommended that I increase my dosage of the Metformin and begin walking for a minimum of 30 minutes every day. For my next cycle we decided to try Femara in place of the Clomid. When that alone did not produce results we had a sperm analysis done on my husband. His results were wonderful and the RE said we would be good candidates for intrauterine insemination (IUI). The next cycle, in addition to taking Femara, I gave myself injections of follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and a trigger shot of Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) when my follicles were ready. The RE informed me that I was what he would call a “worst case responder” to our regimen. Rather than having one follicle that took all of the FSH and grew larger, all of my follicles were sharing it equally. On the day of my last ultrasound my largest follicle was 18mm followed by a 15mm and some 12mms. I was a little concerned because 18mm is the minimum needed in order to trigger but I trusted my doctor so I triggered and went in the next day for my IUI procedure. The procedure took less than five minutes and was a little uncomfortable and left me with some cramping. Now, all we could do was wait. I was told that I could test 2 weeks after the procedure to see if I was pregnant. 10 days later I couldn't resist so I pulled a test from my supply of Dollar Tree tests and tested in the afternoon while my husband was at work. When the second line appeared, I could not hide my elation! I made plans so that I could tell my husband when he got home. I used a digital test so that I could take a picture of the word “pregnant”. Then, my heart fell into my stomach as I realized that the results of the test could have been a false positive due to the hCG trigger shot. I was devastated so I kept the news to myself and decided to test again the next day in secret. The original test was taken on a Tuesday. I tested again Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Friday I called the RE and they arranged for me to have blood work done on Monday. Now I just had to make it through the weekend. My plan was to tell my husband on Sunday. I tested again Saturday and when it was still positive, I couldn't wait any longer so I told my husband by presenting him with a onesie with the name of his company printed on it. I still did not believe that we were pregnant until I had the results from the blood work Monday when the nurse called and said congratulations. The “beta” number that they test to see if you are pregnant needs to double every 48-72 hours so I had more blood work done 2 days later. The number did not double and the nurse mentioned a potential loss. I was so upset I cried for 2 days until I went back for more blood work. This time the beta number had more than doubled so we scheduled our first ultrasound to see the baby and the heartbeat. We had to wait about 2 weeks for our appointment but the day finally arrived and we went to see our baby for the first time. I was lying on the table, and my husband was in the chair beside me. The doctor said that he saw 2 heartbeats. Shocked, I turned to look at my husband, and his face was white with shock. I asked if he was ok and he nodded. The doctor than said, “I probably shouldn't say what I was about to say.” My husband and I looked at each other, we looked at the doctor and said “tell us.” The doctor had seen 4 embryo sacs. Only 2 had heartbeats but the possibility for 4 babies was still there. We scheduled an additional ultrasound 2 weeks later. The doctor does not think the 2 babies with no heartbeats will make it. When we had our second ultrasound the doctor confirmed that we would be having twins. The other 2 babies did not make it. One of the sacs was about 5mm and appeared empty. The other was about 13mm and you could see the remnants of the baby. This was bittersweet for us. We were elated to have 2 wonderful healthy babies but also saddened by the loss of the other two! Of the two remaining babies, the one on the right measured approximately 18mm and had a good steady heartbeat. We could see the head clearly and some of the other features starting to form. The baby on the left measured approximately 15mm and also had a good steady heartbeat, etc. For the most part my pregnancy was pretty uneventful. I did not suffer morning sickness as many women do. My husband and I continued to walk regularly in the early stages and the pregnancy progressed with no complications. Nearing about 28 or 30 weeks I began to notice that sitting at my desk at work for extended periods of time was extremely uncomfortable and put a great deal of strain on my body. The OB put me on modified bedrest where I was allowed to work half days and then go home and relax for the rest of the day. At about 32 weeks we noticed that my blood pressure was rising and I was experiencing swelling. I did not have pre-eclampsia but the OB did not want me going into the office to work anymore so I began working from home and was on modified bedrest where I could still get up but was supposed to relax as much as possible. At 35 weeks, 4 days I noticed that my back was hurting. I figured it was from sleeping in the recliner for the last 4-6 weeks and sitting on the couch all day. The following day when the pain became progressively worse we went to Labor and Delivery at the hospital to be checked out. I was not in labor but they kept me overnight for observation and to make sure the pain went away. Just as they were about to release me the next day I lost my mucus plug. The nurses suggested we wait a little longer to see if anything happened. I went to the bathroom about 1-2 hours after losing my plug and felt a huge gush. I figured it was my water breaking but it was a gush of bright red blood. I was in tremendous pain and could barely make it back to the bed by myself. It turns out that the placenta of Baby A had become detached from the uterine wall and now delivery was imminent. After laboring for about 5 hours they took me to the operating room to deliver. I pushed for about 50 minutes and Baby A was born. He was white as a sheet and did not make any noises. They rushed him into the other room where the doctors were waiting. He needed a blood transfusion and would have to spend time in the NICU. (I also had to receive a blood transfusion before leaving the hospital because when his placenta abrupted I lost a lot of blood too!) Baby A fortunately does not appear to have any long term problems do to his loss of blood. Less than 5 minutes later Baby B was born and she let out a good healthy yell. They took her to the transitional nursery for observation. Fortunately now both babies are fine and we all left the hospital together.

Annabelle and Parker were born March 13, 2009 weighing 4lbs., 7oz. and 5lbs., 6oz.