"I have a surprise for you!!"
That's what the ultrasound technician said as she put the wand to my belly. I already knew, though. I saw the 2 little surprises the instant the image came up on the screen.
"No, surprises... we don't want any surprises," I told her.
I looked to my left, and there was my husband (completely unaware of the life-changing news he was about to hear) holding our adorable 8 month old daughter, Lyndsay. I instantly thought of my older daughter, Kaylie, who was only 8 years old at the time, and Lyndsay, and thought of how huge their life was going to be altered.
"It's twins!" She said gleefully. I was instantly nauseated. We weren't ready to have another baby, much less TWO. We had a baby already, and there she was sitting on her Daddy's lap drinking her bottle. My mind was racing. I thought of having three babies in diapers, three babies in car seats, a toddler and two newborns! What the hell was I going to do?
I had only just come to terms with the thought of having two kids within 16 months, but this would mean 3 babies, THREE babies within 16 months. That's 4 kids by the time I'm 27 years old. I was terrified.
That was May 9, 2007.
As my pregnancy progressed, I went through the whole range of emotions that I think any MoM (mother of multiples) goes through: fear, denial, depression, fear again, and finally acceptance. According to my husband (who works 2 full-time jobs, mind you) it was going to be a piece of cake. "Nikki, it's like making sandwiches," he told me, "If you have the ingredients out, just make two more sandwiches." As if, changing diapers was, in some way, as simple as making sandwiches.
As for complications, I was one of the lucky ones. I had quite an easy pregnancy with no complications, no bedrest, no nothing. I only put on about 35 pounds and felt really good (well, as good as you can, I suppose). My only complaint was the normal aches and pains of a twin pregnancy. But by 37 weeks, I had it. I asked to be induced, and I was.
December 12, 2007, at 8:18 PM, Michael Jr (or Mikey as we affectionately call him) was born. Three minutes later at 8:21 PM, and after only one push, little Ashley arrived. They were perfect. Mikey weighed over 7 pounds, and Ashley was about 5 1/2 pounds, both very good sizes for twins. They were healthy and happy, and, really that was all I hoped for.
As I sit here typing this up, I can't help but think of how much we have all changed. Kaylie, my little helper, is 9 years old and has her first day of fourth grade tomorrow. Lyndsay, my little sweetie, is 2 and a little firecracker. And my two babies, Mikey and Ashley are so worth all the anxiety and nightmares that I went through while I was pregnant. Mikey is my sweet baby boy... tough and rough, the way a little boy should be. And little Miss Ashley, my little peanut, she's about 3-4 pounds smaller than her brother, very petite and quiet, but by far the snuggliest baby ever. Even my husband and I have changed. I feel like we are so much closer than we were before. We are really a team now, and we both work our (you-know-what's) off to keep our family going. I don't think we've even gone out on a date in almost a year. But through it all, we are still head over heals in love.
Although a blessing, every day is also a struggle. My husband and I don't really have anyone that is available to help us, and it's just been us since day 1. And, with my husband gone almost 100 hours a week for work, it is mostly just me here. And, it's not easy. I think that's it in a nutshell. Having multiples is not easy. But, it is the most rewarding experience I can think of. Seeing the way the kids interact with each other is priceless. But by far, the best thing has to be having those two little gummy smiles flash at you. That makes all the sleepless nights, never ending piles of laundry, and completely destroyed house, 100% worth it.
-Nikki Johnson
(mikesbridetobe)
Monday, August 25, 2008
“Watch, we’ll have twins and they’ll both be girls!”
Our History
My husband and I went on our first date in 1999, despite attending different colleges and moving to different cities upon graduation - he moved to Baltimore and I to New York City. The timing wasn’t right during our early twenties, but somehow, we always kept coming back to each other and were finally married in May 2007.
We knew we wanted a family right away and started trying to conceive during our honeymoon in Italy. We didn’t get pregnant on our honeymoon, despite all the wine and romance, but didn’t have to wait long. We found out we were pregnant that September.
My husband loves surprises – he’s the type that doesn’t peek at his Christmas gifts – and insisted we let the gender of our baby be a surprise. I grudgingly agreed (I hate surprises and always hunt for my Christmas gifts!), but joked on a whim that if they were twins that we would find out their genders. Twins would be surprise enough! My husband responded “watch, we’ll have twins and they’ll both be girls!” Famous last words...
Twins?!?
I was never someone who dreamed of having twins. Honestly, the thought never, ever crossed my mind as a possibility. So, when we went to the OB for our 8-week ultrasound, no one was more shocked than I when the technician started the ultrasound and immediately said “It’s twins!” Shocked in disbelief, I demanded evidence and asked her to show it to me on the screen – there it was, two tiny heartbeats! My mom was with us at the ultrasound, screaming and jumping around the room in joy. During all the chaos, I had to stop and ask “Where’s Ron???” My husband was sitting down in the back, stunned silent. After our initial shock, it didn’t take us long to be overjoyed by our shocking news – the best surprise ever!
We told most of our friends and family the news immediately. I’m terrible at keeping secrets and felt that if something bad did happen that we would need the support of our family and friends. Funny enough, I never worried about the complications of carrying twins, despite the warnings from my doctors.
Gratefully, our girls were delivered via scheduled c-section at 38 weeks on April 30, 2008 without the complications that so many multiples pregnancies face (bed rest, pre-term labor, etc) and were completely healthy. Abigail Frances was 19 ¼ inches long and weighed 6lb 11oz and Liliana Ellis was 18 inches long and weighed 5lb 13oz.
The girls are 4 months old now and thriving.
Abby is the outgoing, mouthy one with a personality all her own. She loves to babble away and "talks" our ears off! 
Lily is our sweet girl. She smiles with her whole face, squinches up her nose and has dimples.
We can’t imagine not having twins and there are so many benefits to having them. Our girls learned patience from the get-go and as parents, we’ve learned to go with the flow. The girls will always have each other throughout their lives and that thought just warms our hearts.
Multiples Community
One thing I never expected in my pregnancy was to find such an incredibly supportive thoughtful group of women as I found on the nest. I see so many daily displays of support and concern that go so far beyond what a friend would provide, that it’s amazing to think we are ‘strangers’!
The deluge of recent celebrity twin births makes pregnancy and infancy look idyllic and glamorous. But in so many cases, this just isn’t the real world and I think the public would be interested in an honest take on what being a MoM (Mother of Multiples) is like - the joys and the tears. The incredible strength exhibited by the women on this board is inspirational to all.
My husband and I went on our first date in 1999, despite attending different colleges and moving to different cities upon graduation - he moved to Baltimore and I to New York City. The timing wasn’t right during our early twenties, but somehow, we always kept coming back to each other and were finally married in May 2007.
We knew we wanted a family right away and started trying to conceive during our honeymoon in Italy. We didn’t get pregnant on our honeymoon, despite all the wine and romance, but didn’t have to wait long. We found out we were pregnant that September.
My husband loves surprises – he’s the type that doesn’t peek at his Christmas gifts – and insisted we let the gender of our baby be a surprise. I grudgingly agreed (I hate surprises and always hunt for my Christmas gifts!), but joked on a whim that if they were twins that we would find out their genders. Twins would be surprise enough! My husband responded “watch, we’ll have twins and they’ll both be girls!” Famous last words...
Twins?!?
I was never someone who dreamed of having twins. Honestly, the thought never, ever crossed my mind as a possibility. So, when we went to the OB for our 8-week ultrasound, no one was more shocked than I when the technician started the ultrasound and immediately said “It’s twins!” Shocked in disbelief, I demanded evidence and asked her to show it to me on the screen – there it was, two tiny heartbeats! My mom was with us at the ultrasound, screaming and jumping around the room in joy. During all the chaos, I had to stop and ask “Where’s Ron???” My husband was sitting down in the back, stunned silent. After our initial shock, it didn’t take us long to be overjoyed by our shocking news – the best surprise ever!
We told most of our friends and family the news immediately. I’m terrible at keeping secrets and felt that if something bad did happen that we would need the support of our family and friends. Funny enough, I never worried about the complications of carrying twins, despite the warnings from my doctors.
Gratefully, our girls were delivered via scheduled c-section at 38 weeks on April 30, 2008 without the complications that so many multiples pregnancies face (bed rest, pre-term labor, etc) and were completely healthy. Abigail Frances was 19 ¼ inches long and weighed 6lb 11oz and Liliana Ellis was 18 inches long and weighed 5lb 13oz.The girls are 4 months old now and thriving.
Abby is the outgoing, mouthy one with a personality all her own. She loves to babble away and "talks" our ears off! Lily is our sweet girl. She smiles with her whole face, squinches up her nose and has dimples.We can’t imagine not having twins and there are so many benefits to having them. Our girls learned patience from the get-go and as parents, we’ve learned to go with the flow. The girls will always have each other throughout their lives and that thought just warms our hearts.Multiples Community
One thing I never expected in my pregnancy was to find such an incredibly supportive thoughtful group of women as I found on the nest. I see so many daily displays of support and concern that go so far beyond what a friend would provide, that it’s amazing to think we are ‘strangers’!
The deluge of recent celebrity twin births makes pregnancy and infancy look idyllic and glamorous. But in so many cases, this just isn’t the real world and I think the public would be interested in an honest take on what being a MoM (Mother of Multiples) is like - the joys and the tears. The incredible strength exhibited by the women on this board is inspirational to all.
-Aimee (coffee bean)
Our Journey to Twins
THE BEGINNING:
My husband Bryan and I met in the summer of 2006. We started dating later that fall, and were engaged in February of 2007. Our wedding was a wonderful day, filled with friends and family, on June 29, 2007. Shortly after, we purchased our first home. While we weren’t actively trying to start our family, we weren’t using any preventative measures. However, I was diagnosed with PCOS several years prior, and knew that it would take some time to get pregnant. My main problem is that I don’t ovulate regularly, and it would be hard to know when an opportune time to get pregnant is. In January of 2008, Bryan and I decided to try our first round of Clomid. I can not tell you how ecstatic we were on February 16 (my brother’s wedding day) when we found out we were pregnant. We had thought for sure we’d have a long journey ahead of us, and it would take months, if not years, for us to get pregnant.
One of the first things out of Bryan’s mouth was “I hope we have twins”. He must be a mind reader, because I’ve always wanted twins. We wanted two children, and thought having both at once would be such a fun blessing. Twins run in my family (I’m the third generation), so I knew we had a chance for twins. In fact, we were so sure we were having twins that I demanded an early ultrasound at 7 weeks. I know my OB thought I was nuts, but he gave into my plea. Sure enough, we saw (and heard) both little heartbeats! Here are pictures at 7 and 12 weeks gestation.
At first the pregnancy was a breeze. Weeks 7 through 15 I had a lot of morning sickness, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I was able to continue teaching, tutoring and doing everything I’d done before. Of course I was usually tired by the end of the day, but it really wasn’t so bad. At 16 weeks we found we were expecting two little girls – we could not have been happier! I started planning the nursery around a pink and green shabby chic theme, registered, and started to get excited for my baby shower.
THE BIG SCARE:
At the end of the school year, I was noticing that it was getting harder to walk without an intense amount of pressure. I just chalked it up to being a smaller person pregnant with twins. I went in for a normal OB appointment and ultrasound. The girls looked great, but the doctor was concerned about the length of my cervix. A normal cervical length is between 3cm and 5cm. Mine was measuring under 2cm, and when pressure was applied, it would go under 1cm. I was set up with an appointment at a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist for the following day. At that appointment, I was sent directly to the hospital for contraction monitoring. I was given a shot of Brethine to stop the contractions I was having, and ordered home on strict bedrest. This was luckily the last day of school for me, so I knew I would be able to follow through with bedrest. I went home, ordered a ton of books from Barnes & Noble, and got prepared to stay with my feet propped up for a week or two. Boy, was I wrong!
The next week I went for a follow up appointment. This time, I was dilated, my cervix was opened, and the waters on Baby A were hanging in my birth canal. Basically, my body was in labor and I was only 21 weeks pregnant. I was sent immediately to the hospital. My husband barely had time to get to the hospital before I was taken to have a rescue cerclage performed. My biggest fears about labor and delivery have always been getting an epidural. I had a spinal given to me before the rescue cerclage, and weighing the fear of losing my babies over the fear of pain was a no brainer – I would have walked over hot coals to keep them inside of me.
While I was not put under for the surgery, I remained groggy the rest of the night. My husband said I tried to answer Jeopardy! questions while half asleep, making no sense at all. My dad came to visit at the hospital, and I don’t even recall him there. I woke up the next day feeling very tired from all the medications I was on. All of a sudden, I felt a gush of water. I immediately called my nurse because I feared my water had broken. The resident on call collected a sample, performed a test, and confirmed my worst fears – my water had broken at 21 weeks. I called my husband and parents and had them come to the hospital.
The general consensus of the doctors was that my water had broken, I was in active labor, and that they would take out the cerclage and let me deliver that day. Bryan and I had a very emotional talk with the NICU doctor, one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. He told us the chances of survival (less than 2%) and that chances were they would have been too small for their instruments to even try to help. He told us about comfort care, and how we would be able to hold them until they passed, and would be given medications so they’d not feel pain. After he left, Bryan and I just held each other and named our baby girls – Audrey Claire and Natalie Marie.
When my doctors reappeared at 4:00pm to take out my cerclage and prepare me for delivery, something compelled me to ask the most important question of my life. I asked just how much amniotic fluid I had lost, and could we check it with an ultrasound. One of the doctors wheeled a machine into the room and checked the girls out. He was very surprised to find that Natalie’s sac remained perfectly fine, and Audrey’s had only leaked a small amount of fluid. At once the delivery was canceled and a different action plan was set in place. I would remain in the hospital on constant antibiotics (to prevent infection from the open amniotic sac) and contraction medication. I shudder to think of what would have happened if I’d not asked that question.
I ended up spending three weeks in the hospital. Everyday the doctors were amazed that I was not leaking fluid and that Audrey was even gaining fluid back in her sac. I had successfully stumped a team full of highly qualified specialist, who could only chalk this up to a miracle. On July 4th, I was sent home on strict bedrest.
ALMOST THERE:
As I type this, I am now over 31 weeks pregnant. I have been at home on bedrest since I left the hospital. I go to the MFM specialist two to three times a week for monitoring. I have bought my girls 10 more weeks in the womb. Each day they are there is a blessing. I can not tell you what an emotional roller coaster ride this has been. Without the support of my husband, family and friends, I’m not sure how I would have gotten through this. I have fought through bouts of depression, guilt, helplessness – you name it. We have gotten past most of the scary weeks, and are now into a safer zone. If I gave birth today, they’d spend 6 weeks or so in the NICU. If I had given birth at viability (24 weeks), they would have spent about 5 or 6 months in the NICU. These are truly miracle babies, and we can not wait until their birth. They have filled us with so much love already, and they aren't even here yet. And thanks to the help of our family, they will be coming home to a gorgeous shabby chic pink and green nursery!
- Jennifer (nbjenni)
My husband Bryan and I met in the summer of 2006. We started dating later that fall, and were engaged in February of 2007. Our wedding was a wonderful day, filled with friends and family, on June 29, 2007. Shortly after, we purchased our first home. While we weren’t actively trying to start our family, we weren’t using any preventative measures. However, I was diagnosed with PCOS several years prior, and knew that it would take some time to get pregnant. My main problem is that I don’t ovulate regularly, and it would be hard to know when an opportune time to get pregnant is. In January of 2008, Bryan and I decided to try our first round of Clomid. I can not tell you how ecstatic we were on February 16 (my brother’s wedding day) when we found out we were pregnant. We had thought for sure we’d have a long journey ahead of us, and it would take months, if not years, for us to get pregnant.
One of the first things out of Bryan’s mouth was “I hope we have twins”. He must be a mind reader, because I’ve always wanted twins. We wanted two children, and thought having both at once would be such a fun blessing. Twins run in my family (I’m the third generation), so I knew we had a chance for twins. In fact, we were so sure we were having twins that I demanded an early ultrasound at 7 weeks. I know my OB thought I was nuts, but he gave into my plea. Sure enough, we saw (and heard) both little heartbeats! Here are pictures at 7 and 12 weeks gestation.
At first the pregnancy was a breeze. Weeks 7 through 15 I had a lot of morning sickness, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I was able to continue teaching, tutoring and doing everything I’d done before. Of course I was usually tired by the end of the day, but it really wasn’t so bad. At 16 weeks we found we were expecting two little girls – we could not have been happier! I started planning the nursery around a pink and green shabby chic theme, registered, and started to get excited for my baby shower.
THE BIG SCARE:
At the end of the school year, I was noticing that it was getting harder to walk without an intense amount of pressure. I just chalked it up to being a smaller person pregnant with twins. I went in for a normal OB appointment and ultrasound. The girls looked great, but the doctor was concerned about the length of my cervix. A normal cervical length is between 3cm and 5cm. Mine was measuring under 2cm, and when pressure was applied, it would go under 1cm. I was set up with an appointment at a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist for the following day. At that appointment, I was sent directly to the hospital for contraction monitoring. I was given a shot of Brethine to stop the contractions I was having, and ordered home on strict bedrest. This was luckily the last day of school for me, so I knew I would be able to follow through with bedrest. I went home, ordered a ton of books from Barnes & Noble, and got prepared to stay with my feet propped up for a week or two. Boy, was I wrong!
The next week I went for a follow up appointment. This time, I was dilated, my cervix was opened, and the waters on Baby A were hanging in my birth canal. Basically, my body was in labor and I was only 21 weeks pregnant. I was sent immediately to the hospital. My husband barely had time to get to the hospital before I was taken to have a rescue cerclage performed. My biggest fears about labor and delivery have always been getting an epidural. I had a spinal given to me before the rescue cerclage, and weighing the fear of losing my babies over the fear of pain was a no brainer – I would have walked over hot coals to keep them inside of me.
While I was not put under for the surgery, I remained groggy the rest of the night. My husband said I tried to answer Jeopardy! questions while half asleep, making no sense at all. My dad came to visit at the hospital, and I don’t even recall him there. I woke up the next day feeling very tired from all the medications I was on. All of a sudden, I felt a gush of water. I immediately called my nurse because I feared my water had broken. The resident on call collected a sample, performed a test, and confirmed my worst fears – my water had broken at 21 weeks. I called my husband and parents and had them come to the hospital.
The general consensus of the doctors was that my water had broken, I was in active labor, and that they would take out the cerclage and let me deliver that day. Bryan and I had a very emotional talk with the NICU doctor, one of the kindest men I’ve ever met. He told us the chances of survival (less than 2%) and that chances were they would have been too small for their instruments to even try to help. He told us about comfort care, and how we would be able to hold them until they passed, and would be given medications so they’d not feel pain. After he left, Bryan and I just held each other and named our baby girls – Audrey Claire and Natalie Marie.
When my doctors reappeared at 4:00pm to take out my cerclage and prepare me for delivery, something compelled me to ask the most important question of my life. I asked just how much amniotic fluid I had lost, and could we check it with an ultrasound. One of the doctors wheeled a machine into the room and checked the girls out. He was very surprised to find that Natalie’s sac remained perfectly fine, and Audrey’s had only leaked a small amount of fluid. At once the delivery was canceled and a different action plan was set in place. I would remain in the hospital on constant antibiotics (to prevent infection from the open amniotic sac) and contraction medication. I shudder to think of what would have happened if I’d not asked that question.
I ended up spending three weeks in the hospital. Everyday the doctors were amazed that I was not leaking fluid and that Audrey was even gaining fluid back in her sac. I had successfully stumped a team full of highly qualified specialist, who could only chalk this up to a miracle. On July 4th, I was sent home on strict bedrest.
ALMOST THERE:
As I type this, I am now over 31 weeks pregnant. I have been at home on bedrest since I left the hospital. I go to the MFM specialist two to three times a week for monitoring. I have bought my girls 10 more weeks in the womb. Each day they are there is a blessing. I can not tell you what an emotional roller coaster ride this has been. Without the support of my husband, family and friends, I’m not sure how I would have gotten through this. I have fought through bouts of depression, guilt, helplessness – you name it. We have gotten past most of the scary weeks, and are now into a safer zone. If I gave birth today, they’d spend 6 weeks or so in the NICU. If I had given birth at viability (24 weeks), they would have spent about 5 or 6 months in the NICU. These are truly miracle babies, and we can not wait until their birth. They have filled us with so much love already, and they aren't even here yet. And thanks to the help of our family, they will be coming home to a gorgeous shabby chic pink and green nursery!
- Jennifer (nbjenni)
A journey through the heart
You have heard it before, “well we were only going to try for one but…” and that basically sums up the start of our story. My husband and I decided to try for a baby and once we got all the issues sorted out, no ovulation and placed on clomid, we got our BFP! We were shocked and thrilled. I developed horrible morning sickness and I was miserable but the baby was progressing well. They were able to find a heartbeat at 10 weeks and everything was looking good. We headed into our big ultrasound at 19 weeks and we couldn’t wait to see that little baby. Well after looking at my uterus for a grand total of 10 seconds, the tech asked me “so you are having two right?” WHAT!?! That is when we found out about our two little bundles of joy. We were shocked and scared and thrilled and about every other emotion you could imagine.
After we got over the shocked, we really embraced the situation. We were going to have two girls! What joy and what a blessing. Pregnancy continued along fine. I had a slight placenta previa but that moved away and everything looked great. At week 28, I head in for a routine ultrasound to measure cervical length and to check for growth. Everything was pretty text book and I felt great. The day after my 28 week U/S, the hospital called me back. They had forgotten to do a colored transvaginal Doppler on me, so back to the hospital I went. I was alone because everything seemed fine so I thought that my husband didn’t have to come. Towards the end of the U/S, I knew something was up because several doctors filed into the room. After I was dressed, we all sat down for a talk and that is when they told me I had vasa previa. I had never heard of it but the doctors started to educate me on it. It seemed that there were blood vessels just crossing over the cervix. They hadn’t been absorbed by the umbilical cord like they were supposed to be. If the vessels ruptured or were compressed, that would cut off blood flow to one or both of my babies. Labor would mean almost certain death. They tried to reassure me that catching the vasa previa was a blessing because now they knew it was there and they could have an action plan. I remember just soaking in the information and then wandering around the hospital crying. I called my husband to tell him and he made the mistake of googling it and seeing the startling statistics, vasa previa carries a 50-100% mortality rate. He left work early so we could be together and just digest the news. We told our families and select friends and asked for prayers and lots of them.
After a horrible night of crying and screaming, we decided that we needed to be positive. They had caught the vasa previa and detection usually meant a 100% survival rate if everything is done right and there is no bleeding or labor. We knew God was with us because it was a Godly intervention that the hospital realized their mistake and ordered a second u/s for me, the u/s that showed the vasa previa and therefore saved my babies.
I was placed on modified bedrest and I knew that it was for the best of my babies. Everyday I prayed that I would make it to 34 weeks, when I was scheduled to have a c-section. It broke my heart to have the girls so early but I knew that the chances of me making it any further were slim and we weighed all the risks involved. Babies at 34 weeks have an almost 100% chance of survival without long term issues plus I knew my girls were fighters. I could feel their spirits everyday. As I stayed in bed, feeling them kick, I knew that they would be okay.
On May 20, 2008, I went in for my c-section. The operation went well and no complications. At 8:22 AM, Ashlyn made her appearance, quickly followed by Fiona at 8:23AM. I was only able to see them for a few seconds before they wheeled them out of the OR and down to the NICU. It was another 5 hours before I saw my girls, in their NICU isolettes looking so small and beautiful. I spent all the time I could with them and I cried everyday that went by when I wasnt able to hold them. It was bittersweet when I left the hospital, I was glad to be going home but not without my girls. A new mom going home without her babies is unnatural and hard to deal with even when you know they need to stay.
Fiona, the larger of the girls, needed to learn how to eat and she needed to grow. Ashlyn had a longer journey. Even thought I was given doses of Betamethasone while I was pregnant, Ashlyn’s lungs were still underdeveloped and she had a Pneumothorax, a small hole in her lung. Despite this, she was progressing well until they discovered that blood was accumulating in the chest cavity. While Fiona was getting better everyday, Ashlyn faced new hurdles. She went from a CPAP, which is very common for preemies, to an oxygen tent to a ventilator. Throw in a central line that went into her scalp and daily head ultrasounds and we were scared but we never gave up. God had intervened before and we knew God was with us and so were all the prayers. After 8 days, Ashlyn was able to breath on her own without the aid of supplied oxygen. She started taking bottles and after 12 days in the NICU, both of our girls came home. We never even fathomed that they would both be home at the same time, but there they were in the backside of our car. They were so tiny but had been through so much.
I stay at home with Fiona and Ashlyn and it is hard. I don’t have family close by to help out and being the mother to twins puts you in a unique situation. A source of support/prayers/laughter/and shared moments is the multiples message board I belong to. We know how a fellow MoM feels torn with her time and energy. We understand how overwhelming and scary a pregnancy can be. We’ve all gained the weight, had the swollen feet, and many of us have faced complications. We are a true community filled with love and caring and most of us will never meet in real life.
Beating the odds
I am known as "sweater" in my online life.
My husband Jason and I knew we wanted children from the moment we were engaged. Shortly after marriage, I got pregnant around Christmas time 2007. I had a fairly easy first trimester without the classic morning sickness that many women experience. I only had one doctor appointment and everything was great. My doctor recommended that I didn't come in for my 2nd appointment to try and hear the heartbeat via doppler until I was closer to 14 weeks pregnant rather than 12 weeks due to my tipped uterus. She felt we'd have a better chance at hearing the heartbeat if we waited a little longer.
Jason and I were really excited to hear proof that a baby really was there! I had a dream the night before this appointment that Jason and I were sitting at our kitchen table with two brown curly haired babies in their high chairs eating dinner. I told Jason about the dream when I woke up and we laughed that my dream must’ve fast forward a few years since there were two children. This dream came to give me strength and hope much later in the pregnancy.
A nurse practitioner was performing the appointment that day. I explained to her that I was experiencing some intense pains once in awhile and she looked concerned. She said that the pains I was describing are pains that I shouldn't be feeling yet so soon in the pregnancy. She then went on to tell us to not be upset if we don't hear a heartbeat and she feared that I had an ectopic pregnancy. As she put the doppler down on my belly a loud strong heartbeat was heard immediately. We were all smiles in the room. The doppler was then moved to the other side of my belly and the heartbeat was picked up again. It was a beautiful sound...that suddenly sounded like a horse gallop. I took my eyes off my husband and looked up and said, "Is that.." and my sentenced was finished by the nurse practitioner with the word "TWO".
She then said that they've never picked up on twins with a doppler before and that it was HIGHLY possible to just be an echo. Although she did not look convinced that it was an echo. She said she was getting readings of 140 and 160 bpm and that it was too far apart. So we were sent to the hospital the next day for an ultrasound to just "check it out". Of course Jason and I were convinced that it must be "just an echo".
We went to the hospital the next day excited at the chance to peek in on our baby early since we were only going to get one ultrasound at 20 weeks. During the ultrasound we definitely saw TWO little gummy bears on the screen. We were shocked and beside ourselves with every emotion possible.
My doctor called me the next day and asked that Jason and I come in that afternoon to discuss the big news since this would certainly change my prenatal care. During this doctor's visit we were told that the ultrasound tech did not see a membrane separating the twins. All the different types of twins were explained to us with a chart. We were told that our babies shared a placenta and gestational sac and POSSIBLY an amnio sac as well. Apparently if identical twins split too late, an amnio sac has already formed around the egg since the body thought it was going to be one baby. This is called mono amniotic-mono chrionic. If it were to split any later the babies would then be conjoined.
Since mono amniotic twins are sharing an amnio sac, it means they are actually touching each other. This is extremely dangerous since their cords can wrap around each other and create many knots.
My doctor sent us back to the hospital the next day to be seen by a Perinatologist to look for this very important membrane separating the twins with a level II ultrasound. We were told that they were highly unlikely to be mono amniotic twins since it’s so rare. I believe the doctor said “you have statistics on your side”. The doctor also told us she’d never had a patient with this condition either.
Jason and I left that appointment feeling confident about our next appointment with the specialist. I did of course go online and search the web for everything I could find related to this mono amniotic thing I was going to go see a doctor about.
The information I found was devastating. I found myself printing off countless sheets and highlighting startling facts and information. I suddenly became TERRIFIED and just had a feeling. We all know that feeling. This was the night that I introduced myself to the ladies of the MULTIPLES board on The Nest. I had been a member of The Nest boards while trying to conceive and I was also no stranger to the 1st and 2nd trimester boards. I was scared out of my mind and turned to complete strangers for support.
The ladies of this board wrote me encouraging words and their own personal experiences with possible diagnosis of this condition. Even though I was assured that no other member of the board had this rare condition, that it was still something that could be overcome if I did.
I’ll never forget that appointment the next day with the specialist for the rest of my life. We could see the babies were boys immediately and just watched in amazement at the clarity of this level II ultrasound compared to the first ultrasound we saw just days before this. When the doctor confirmed to us that the babies were in fact mono amniotic I can only describe the moment as if I were just told that the world was coming to an end. I asked the doctor if the statistics I found online were true or up-to-date and he shook his head sadly confirming the grim news.
I had a 50% chance of the babies surviving and the statistics fell lower and lower after that of them being “normal”. I was told that IF I make it to viable age (24 weeks of gestation) that I have to live out the rest of my pregnancy in the hospital to give the babies a better chance of making it. I would have to be monitored every week by the specialist leading up to this hospitalization as well. The babies would HAVE to be delivered via c-section by 32 weeks IF I were even able to make it that long. We were told that it was very common to see one or both babies gone at any of these monitors due to the harsh knots in the cords that can occur.We were of course given options of selective reduction to give at least one baby a better chance.
We started this long road of countless specialist appointments along with my regular OB appointments. Every appointment with the specialists left me in tears because of all the other possible complications we were watching that happens with most women carrying identical twins (TTTS, IUGR etc...).
I finally decided that enough was enough and I could not continue the pregnancy with the thought that my boys would not make it. I decided to plan for their arrival and to just do whatever was asked of me. We attended every appointment asked of us, and I prepared our home and my life for the boys to come.
I left the life I knew and checked into the hospital on May 21 and made many friends along the way with hospital staff and all my best girlfriends online on the MULTIPLES board on The Nest. I’ve counseled many other women on that online community who feared the same diagnosis.
I had lived every moment of that stay knowing that at any time they would have to take the boys if one of them distressed on the monitors. We were watching my little baby (Baby A – Jaxon) very closely since he had much less blood flow in his cord due to tight knots in his cord. His weight was significantly less than the other baby so I was constantly worried about him.
I had been in the hospital for over 7 weeks and had my c-section planned for July 17. Three nights before this anticipated date, I was conducting business as usual and had gotten ready for bed along with my 10pm nightly monitoring. Jason kissed me and left the room to go home for the night right as my nurse was entering to hook me up to the monitors. Within moments of being hooked up, Jaxon’s heart rate plummeted and my room was filled with doctors and nurses. I've never experienced the feeling I felt when I knew the baby was about to be gone.
They said I had to be put under immediately as they started to rush my bed into the operating room. I didn’t even know if they had contacted my husband as they were running my bed down the hall, trying to put in an IV and just pulling up my pajamas to perform the surgery. I was hysterical since I wasn’t able to see since they pulled my glasses off my face and I didn’t know if the doctor on call knew if they boys were mono amniotic. I had a beautiful day planned for my surgery with my favorite nurses and the specialists there to perform it, and of course my husband at my side. None of this happened. I thought the doctors were cutting me before I was put under and then I was out.
I woke up as they were pulling the tubes out of my throat in the recovery room. My husband was standing next to me and came close to my face so I could see him. He looked exhausted and I suddenly realized where I was and felt paralyzed by fear. He suddenly held up a micro-preemie diaper and told me that we had a baby boy in each one of those diapers. I sighed the biggest sigh of relief I’ve ever had my whole life. He also whispered that they cut my from the belly button down to get the boys out. This was definitely not the birth I had hoped for or planned. I will always morn the loss of the “moment of birth” that I so looked forward to all those long days in the hospital. But I can’t really complain since my boys are here.
Baby B – Brady weighed 3lbs, 5 oz.
Baby A - Jaxon weighed 2lbs, 7oz.
Brady came home from the NICU just after 4 weeks, and Jaxon after 3 months with some complications that have led to further hospitalizations. Jaxon hasn't known a life yet without feeding tubes or oxygen due to a severe case of infant reflux.
This has been the most emotionally challenging road that we have ever been on. I think my husband and I have been through more together in our first year of marriage than some people have in 50 years of marriage. There have been many other things along this ride that have happened as well that has just added bumps along the way. Those common sayings of “When one door closes, another opens” and “You’re not given more than you can handle” have new meanings to me. I never thought in my whole life that I’d be at a hospital every day for 5 months straight without an end in sight.
Through all this I still feel like the luckiest person in the whole world. We still have a long road ahead of us – everyday is still certainly heartache and a challenge, but each day is also filled with the love of my miracles. I have TWO beautiful babies, and the ladies remind me of this everyday in my online world. I look to them everyday for support, guidance, laughs and sometimes to just talk about girl things. They have become my rocks. They got me through countless hours, days and weeks when I was in the hospital. We share in each other's happiness, joy and sorrow on a daily basis. Our hearts break for each other and we celebrate each other.
They have shown me and reminded me that random acts of kindness really do exist. And because of them I will certainly pay it forward to as many as possible that follow me.
http://lettenbergertwins.blogspot.com
It all began long, long ago...
http://lotsofbabiestolove.blogspot.com/
It all began long, long ago…with the birth of my grandfather and his identical twin brother. Donald and Ronald were very close and had that “special” bond that most twins do. As they grew they eventually joined the Marines together and in 1950 they received papers stating they would be going to fight in the Korean War. As fate would have it, my grandfather, Donald broke his ankle just before they were going to be leaving so he was honorably discharged. He watched as his other half boarded the plane to Korea, not knowing that would be the last time he would see his brother alive. On November 20th, 1956 Ronald was killed in action. His remains were left behind because the battle in the Chosen Reservoir was to hostile to stop and collect those who were killed. Many years later the majority of the bodies left in that battle were buried in the Hawaiian punchbowl and marked as “unknown” soldiers. The pain of losing his other half never lessened for my grandfather. With the advances in technology and science DNA matching became a possibility. My grandfather donated a blood sample for the military to possibly match with his twin (since they obviously had the exact same DNA). Numerous attempts to match them went on and on with no success. Then on May 7th, 2003 my grandfather received the official notification that they had indeed recovered his brothers remains. Here is the moment my grandfather signed to have his brother returned home to Minnesota.
Fast forward to October of 2006, my first child, Samuel was born. From day one Sam and my grandfather had a bond that nobody could understand but them. They are very attached to each other and have something very special. My grandfather swears that Sam is his brother, Ronald, and has come back to him in a special way. The resemblance between Sam and my grandfather and Ronald is uncanny.
Fast forward again to October of 2007, we learned we were expecting triplets! At 6 weeks 1day we were told that we were having identical twins and a fraternal triplet. When we went back for out 8 week appointment we learned that one of the identical twins no longer had a heartbeat and would reabsorb on its own. We were sad to hear of the loss of one of the babies, but were hopeful and happy for the twins we still had. Our pregnancy was a typical “twin” pregnancy, with its ups and downs, bed rest and preterm contractions, hospital visits, and scares.
On May 7th, 2008, five years to the day that my grandfather received official notification of the recovery of his twin brother, I woke up feeling pretty normal. I was a little tired though because I didn't sleep very well the night before, but didn't think anything of it. Around 11:30 in the morning I decided I was going to take a quick shower. I sat down to use the bathroom first and when I stood up I had a clear fluid trickle run down. Honestly, I thought "maybe" it could be my water but deep down I didn't believe it. I told Scott that I possibly broke my water but not to get too excited because I wasn't completely sure. After my shower I laid down in bed for about a half hour and stood up to a soaked bottom. I called the clinic and they asked me to come in at 2 in the afternoon (which at this point was about an hour from then.)
It all began long, long ago…with the birth of my grandfather and his identical twin brother. Donald and Ronald were very close and had that “special” bond that most twins do. As they grew they eventually joined the Marines together and in 1950 they received papers stating they would be going to fight in the Korean War. As fate would have it, my grandfather, Donald broke his ankle just before they were going to be leaving so he was honorably discharged. He watched as his other half boarded the plane to Korea, not knowing that would be the last time he would see his brother alive. On November 20th, 1956 Ronald was killed in action. His remains were left behind because the battle in the Chosen Reservoir was to hostile to stop and collect those who were killed. Many years later the majority of the bodies left in that battle were buried in the Hawaiian punchbowl and marked as “unknown” soldiers. The pain of losing his other half never lessened for my grandfather. With the advances in technology and science DNA matching became a possibility. My grandfather donated a blood sample for the military to possibly match with his twin (since they obviously had the exact same DNA). Numerous attempts to match them went on and on with no success. Then on May 7th, 2003 my grandfather received the official notification that they had indeed recovered his brothers remains. Here is the moment my grandfather signed to have his brother returned home to Minnesota.
Fast forward to October of 2006, my first child, Samuel was born. From day one Sam and my grandfather had a bond that nobody could understand but them. They are very attached to each other and have something very special. My grandfather swears that Sam is his brother, Ronald, and has come back to him in a special way. The resemblance between Sam and my grandfather and Ronald is uncanny.Fast forward again to October of 2007, we learned we were expecting triplets! At 6 weeks 1day we were told that we were having identical twins and a fraternal triplet. When we went back for out 8 week appointment we learned that one of the identical twins no longer had a heartbeat and would reabsorb on its own. We were sad to hear of the loss of one of the babies, but were hopeful and happy for the twins we still had. Our pregnancy was a typical “twin” pregnancy, with its ups and downs, bed rest and preterm contractions, hospital visits, and scares.On May 7th, 2008, five years to the day that my grandfather received official notification of the recovery of his twin brother, I woke up feeling pretty normal. I was a little tired though because I didn't sleep very well the night before, but didn't think anything of it. Around 11:30 in the morning I decided I was going to take a quick shower. I sat down to use the bathroom first and when I stood up I had a clear fluid trickle run down. Honestly, I thought "maybe" it could be my water but deep down I didn't believe it. I told Scott that I possibly broke my water but not to get too excited because I wasn't completely sure. After my shower I laid down in bed for about a half hour and stood up to a soaked bottom. I called the clinic and they asked me to come in at 2 in the afternoon (which at this point was about an hour from then.)
I no sooner walked (ok wheeled) into the clinic and painful contractions began. They quickly put me on the monitor and it was clear things had changed. The babies looked wonderful on the monitor but I was VERY clearly having REAL contractions. They did a Ph test to check to see if it was truly my water and within 10 seconds she said "You need to go directly to the hospital. Have someone bring your overnight bag, put their car seats in the car and prepare yourself to have your babies in your arms today." None of this seemed real, it was all happening way too fast and my husband and I were in major denial and a serious state of shock.
We got to the hospital within minutes and walked in the door and they were there waiting for me. I got placed in my room and had a flood of nurses and doctors enter the room. One started an IV, one was getting the babies on the monitor, one was preparing me for surgery, and someone else put those lovely stockings on my legs. One doctor did a quick ultrasound to confirm their positions (both were transverse- they were laying sideways like they were in a bunk bed), the other doctor called anesthesia to find out what they wanted to do since I had eaten a small lunch. It was all so surreal and happened so fast.
I walked into the hospital at 4p.m. and was taken back to the operating room at 5p.m. I was given a spinal to numb my body from the chest downwards. I was told the incision started at 5:30 exactly. Three little minutes later (5:33) my little Zachary was born. His sister, Madeline came into the world one tiny minute later (5:34). Madeline was a champ; she cried and pinked up immediately. Zachary on the other hand was being lazy. He needed quite a bit of stimulation to get him breathing. But after a few hours he perked up and is doing as well as Madeline.
Zachary weighed 5 pounds 9 ounces and is 18 ½ inches long, Madeline was 5 pounds 6 ounces and is 19 inches long. They are both HUGE for 34 "weekers". Apparently the average 34 week baby weighs about 4 ½ pounds… so our little ones are not quite little. They both started nursing VERY well and we are soooooo excited and pleased with that. They had to be put under the bilirubin lights because they are both jaundiced (which is very common in premature babies). We were told they would be in the hospital for a minimum of two weeks, but nine days after they were born they came home. It was a joyous and difficult mother’s day for me. I was discharged from the hospital on Sunday, Mother’s Day. I was much like a wet noodle, I sobbed and sobbed and felt horrid just leaving my babies in the hospital without me. It was the most difficult day of my life.
We got to the hospital within minutes and walked in the door and they were there waiting for me. I got placed in my room and had a flood of nurses and doctors enter the room. One started an IV, one was getting the babies on the monitor, one was preparing me for surgery, and someone else put those lovely stockings on my legs. One doctor did a quick ultrasound to confirm their positions (both were transverse- they were laying sideways like they were in a bunk bed), the other doctor called anesthesia to find out what they wanted to do since I had eaten a small lunch. It was all so surreal and happened so fast.I walked into the hospital at 4p.m. and was taken back to the operating room at 5p.m. I was given a spinal to numb my body from the chest downwards. I was told the incision started at 5:30 exactly. Three little minutes later (5:33) my little Zachary was born. His sister, Madeline came into the world one tiny minute later (5:34). Madeline was a champ; she cried and pinked up immediately. Zachary on the other hand was being lazy. He needed quite a bit of stimulation to get him breathing. But after a few hours he perked up and is doing as well as Madeline.
Zachary weighed 5 pounds 9 ounces and is 18 ½ inches long, Madeline was 5 pounds 6 ounces and is 19 inches long. They are both HUGE for 34 "weekers". Apparently the average 34 week baby weighs about 4 ½ pounds… so our little ones are not quite little. They both started nursing VERY well and we are soooooo excited and pleased with that. They had to be put under the bilirubin lights because they are both jaundiced (which is very common in premature babies). We were told they would be in the hospital for a minimum of two weeks, but nine days after they were born they came home. It was a joyous and difficult mother’s day for me. I was discharged from the hospital on Sunday, Mother’s Day. I was much like a wet noodle, I sobbed and sobbed and felt horrid just leaving my babies in the hospital without me. It was the most difficult day of my life.
You are aware there are two?
I research. I prepare. I like to be organized. I have itineraries for trips we want to take . . . 
someday. I know what we’re doing for my husband’s birthday . . . in 8 months. I love planning. It’s what I do, and it’s what I’m best at.
When we started thinking about having a baby I started preparing. I typed questions for the birth center we were going to use. I knew which stroller we were going to buy. I found the top three daycare centers in our city. I was ready for a little baby. It took longer than we expected, but as soon as I got confirmation that I was pregnant I made our first appointment with the midwife.
The birth center was so relaxed and personal. I loved the idea of giving birth in a house without sterile medical equipment or hospital noises and smells. It was so natural. However, the planner in me was anxious about not having an ultrasound until 20 weeks. I had to see that there was actually something inside me. When I was offered the chance to have an NT scan at 11 weeks,
I jumped at it. Not only did it give me an opportunity to prepare if anything was wrong, but it also let me see proof that something was really in there. The joke was on me, the planner.
The sonographer placed the ultrasound wand on my stomach and immediately asked, “You are aware there are two?” Um, no, we were not aware. Of course I was thrilled that I was pregnant. I was overjoyed that the babies seemed healthy. It’s just that hearing that there were two was shocking. Shocking is an understatement. For ten minutes all I could do was cry and laugh and swear. It certainly wasn’t the romantic image of the first ultrasound I had always pictured. And, when I stopped swearing, all I could say between laughter and tears was: “We need a new car.”
So, all my carefully made baby plans went out the window. I found a progressive OB and a great hospital. I read the twin bible, When You’re Expecting Twins, by Dr. Luke. I crammed nearly 3500 calories in my mouth every day. I rested whenever I needed a break. We bought a double stroller. We hired a nanny. I started getting really excited about having twins. And, I had a great pregnancy. I was really lucky. My girls were born at 36 weeks 6 days after my blood pressure skyrocketed. I labored in the bright lights of the operating room with what seemed like hundreds of medical personnel surrounding me. Rowan and Gracen were big and healthy and spent no time in the NICU. They were absolutely perfect. I couldn’t have planned it any better.
My daughters have taught me to relax and have more fun. I know what tasks need
to get done, but the girls set the pace. There are no more plans on paper. Now it’s about them and the amazing things they do. Smiling and laughing at strange noises and silly songs. Rolling around. Sitting up. Reaching out for each other. It is exhausting to be the parent of twins. Going to work is my vacation, and coming home to them is my reward. I’m absolutely in love with my girls.
someday. I know what we’re doing for my husband’s birthday . . . in 8 months. I love planning. It’s what I do, and it’s what I’m best at.When we started thinking about having a baby I started preparing. I typed questions for the birth center we were going to use. I knew which stroller we were going to buy. I found the top three daycare centers in our city. I was ready for a little baby. It took longer than we expected, but as soon as I got confirmation that I was pregnant I made our first appointment with the midwife.
The birth center was so relaxed and personal. I loved the idea of giving birth in a house without sterile medical equipment or hospital noises and smells. It was so natural. However, the planner in me was anxious about not having an ultrasound until 20 weeks. I had to see that there was actually something inside me. When I was offered the chance to have an NT scan at 11 weeks,
I jumped at it. Not only did it give me an opportunity to prepare if anything was wrong, but it also let me see proof that something was really in there. The joke was on me, the planner.The sonographer placed the ultrasound wand on my stomach and immediately asked, “You are aware there are two?” Um, no, we were not aware. Of course I was thrilled that I was pregnant. I was overjoyed that the babies seemed healthy. It’s just that hearing that there were two was shocking. Shocking is an understatement. For ten minutes all I could do was cry and laugh and swear. It certainly wasn’t the romantic image of the first ultrasound I had always pictured. And, when I stopped swearing, all I could say between laughter and tears was: “We need a new car.”
So, all my carefully made baby plans went out the window. I found a progressive OB and a great hospital. I read the twin bible, When You’re Expecting Twins, by Dr. Luke. I crammed nearly 3500 calories in my mouth every day. I rested whenever I needed a break. We bought a double stroller. We hired a nanny. I started getting really excited about having twins. And, I had a great pregnancy. I was really lucky. My girls were born at 36 weeks 6 days after my blood pressure skyrocketed. I labored in the bright lights of the operating room with what seemed like hundreds of medical personnel surrounding me. Rowan and Gracen were big and healthy and spent no time in the NICU. They were absolutely perfect. I couldn’t have planned it any better.My daughters have taught me to relax and have more fun. I know what tasks need
to get done, but the girls set the pace. There are no more plans on paper. Now it’s about them and the amazing things they do. Smiling and laughing at strange noises and silly songs. Rolling around. Sitting up. Reaching out for each other. It is exhausting to be the parent of twins. Going to work is my vacation, and coming home to them is my reward. I’m absolutely in love with my girls.
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